A lot of the time I would feel unworthy. Which I am sure that most people do or have…& I don’t know about you, but I don’t like feeling that way. I now realize what a WASTE OF TIME that it was.
I know that I am flawed. I am human. We all have flaws, we are literally only human. We all make mistakes and we all learn lessons. The cool thing about it all is that His grace is enough. Always.
REWIND:::I felt as though I was not “allowed” to feel happy in general. To have nice things, to live the life I do, to have the amazing family that I do, etc. When I couldn’t afford something I fell into this pit of sadness and anxiousness. It took me back to some moments when I was younger and it haunted me. I started to pity myself. I felt sad. Useless. Worthless.
Honestly, sometimes I felt like I couldn’t even say “my car” because I felt as if I didn’t deserve it. It was difficult for me to say “My husband” because I felt as if I didn’t deserve him, to be married, to be happy and madly in love with my best friend. Sometimes, I would even feel like I couldn’t post a picture of our “date nights” because I didn’t deserve to have them and I didn’t want others to feel sad when seeing our happy picture if they felt alone. – Overthinking at its finest.-
“I do[n’t] deserve it.”
This was an inside issue that I had been struggling with for YEARS. But, you just have to remind yourself that you deserve the good things in life. You do. Jesus paid the price for it all a long time ago, so get over yourself and rest in the finished work. (Sorry, not sorry).
Someday, & someday soon I hope (if this pertains to you at all), you will be able to overcome this struggle and all of these lies that you have been believing for so long.
Kiss those lies, goodbye!
Friend, you are worthy. You are unique. You deserve happiness. You deserve to feel loved.
anxiousbeauty 