Can I uninstall these?

Emotions are gross. How do I uninstall them?

You can’t. Unfortunately. You have to feel them.

If you ignore them, that doesn’t mean that they just up and leave. They remain. They will resurface. They will haunt you.

You can’t go around it. You can’t go over it. You can’t go under it. You have to go through it.

Grab a notebook and a pen, grab your cell phone and open up your notes, grab your laptop and type it out. Go for a walk or a run, scream into a pillow, or eat a brownie.

Face it head on, push through, and then you’ll be stronger than before.

On the other side of that fear is a testimony.

While I am over here typing away and giving you advice, I am trying to take it myself. Boy, it is difficult. 

Let’s get real for a moment since we are talking about feelings. While I was on antidepressants for quite some time, I was numb. Literally. I couldn’t become overly upset (easily), I couldn’t express my compassion (as much), I couldn’t cry (like ever). Everything was so suppressed for so long and it seemed, after awhile, to be the new me.

I decided one day (again) to say adios to my meds. I was literally unstable. I didn’t know how to control anything, I wasn’t used to it. Tears. Frustrations. Anger. Sadness. It was scary. 

I felt so crazy. But I learned how to (mostly) live my every day life and become sane…as much as one could anyway.

But sometimes…those episodes still make an appearance and sometimes I sink back into that hole.

Emotions are a part of life. Feelings can be absolutely wonderful and sometimes absolutely dreadful. So, no, you can’t get rid of them & you can’t ignore them. But don’t worry, you’re not alone in this. You are not alone. *I try & remind myself*

By: Zarina Situmorang

Some days are hard…REALLY hard…when you’re battling severe depression and high anxiety. When you are trying to get better. When you’re surrounded by others who have NO IDEA what it is like. People who tell you that you don’t make any sense. People who tell you to get over it. People who think you are being over-dramatic. People who think you are not being reasonable. People who don’t “believe” it. People who try to compare theirs to yours. No.

They just do not understand.

There are different levels of depression. Different levels of anxiety. This is a mental illness. This is NOT a choice or a temporary mood that will fade away in an hour. For those who don’t understand…just be compassionate. Be patient. Be there. Just be there.

You can’t help in any other way, so just…be there.

Mental illness is not what this post was initially about, but that’s where it went. Mental illness is such a taboo in today’s society. It needs to be talked about and not shoved into a corner to be ignored and forgotten about. It is real & it is destroying your loved ones. Stop brushing it off as if it is nothing. Falling off your bike and getting a scraped knee is nothing. Falling into severe depression and wanting to die is NOT nothing.

Anyway, thanks for reading this rant. I know I will get better and be in remission longer than a couple months. I know my day and my week will get better. I know this because God is faithful. In my waiting, I am resting in trusting Him.

I hope your week is fantastic & filled with joy.

 

Scared thoughtless

I believe that one of the scariest things is when you are afraid of who you think you are becoming or not knowing who you are at all. Thankfully, you are not becoming “that” person and eventually, you’ll know exactly who you are. Hold on, tight.

You were going through a season, a season where your mind had shifted into a downwards spiral, a season that has (or will soon) finally come to an end. You’ll see the light again, friend.

At a time when you’re consumed with feelings of grief, anger, loneliness, hurt, and severe pain; you are no longer yourself. You think things that are not like “you”, you say things that are not like “you”, and you do things that are not like “you”.

Coming up from that is beautiful. It’s like hiking for miles and miles just to reach the top of the mountain and being able to rest as the sun comes up. You’ve been hiking, you’ve been out of breath, you’ve wanted to give up, you’ve had thoughts that you would never make it…BUT you made it. Now sit and rest while God pours out his peace.

You did it, friend. You should be proud of what you’ve overcome. It can be extremely difficult, but it is so worth it.

Sometimes we go through things that change us immensely and sometimes we go through things that shift our thinking ever so slightly. Either way, everything that you go THROUGH changes YOU.

I know that if I had not gone through the things that I have gone through in my life [so far], I would have a harder time forgiving as quickly, loving as deeply, and caring (or not caring) as much as I do now. Life is too short.

Don’t be afraid to be who you are. Don’t let others bully you into being who they think you should be. Don’t let rules confine your personality and the words you speak. You are unique and your individuality is needed in this world. YOU are needed in this world.

When I finally realized that I was free to be myself, my whole world was flipped upside down. Everything that I once “knew” was changed. I didn’t have to listen to what others said about me, or listen when they told me how I should act & live my life, or allow them to treat me as a doormat. They bullied me into making me feel as if I had to play by their rules. Well, if anyone knows me, they probably are thinking that, that doesn’t sound like Dani at all. It was. I allowed others to make me feel horrible about myself & everything I came in contact with. So with all that being said..let me reintroduce myself. Hi, my name is Dani & I’m going to laugh when I want to laugh. I’m going to sing when I want to sing. I’m going to cry when I want to cry. & as for all of those people who “think” they can belittle me, shame me, hurt me, etc…I have news for you:::THIS Dani won’t allow it anymore. ~@anxiousbeauty

Awhile back, I had shut myself off when I was around certain people, I acted the way they saw fit, and I did everything I thought was expected of me. I did everything BUT express my true self.

My family was camping one weekend and we were sitting around the fire. My brother said something that really hit me hard, I felt it in my soul. Although to him, he was just talking..this moment was the turning point for me. I realized that I had been hiding who I was around certain people and I was allowing them to tell me who I was supposed to be and how I was supposed to act.

Ever since then, I realized that I needed to love myself more and that I needed to be myself, more.

Remember who you are. Be what you think is the best version of YOURSELF. Don’t let anyone tell you who you are. & lastly…you do you, boo.