People Leave.

It seems as if all heartbreak is the same, feels like death. But, it’s not always the same. Some hurt way more than others.

I’ve been dealing with quite a bit of heartbreak lately. It has been difficult to go every day without having a complete meltdown. But, I am getting through it.

Awhile back, I decided to no longer post pictures with others on my Instagram – people leave. It is literally just a social media app, but it’s an app where I can look back at some of my memories in this crazy life and smile. So I enjoy it from time to time. I didn’t want to look back and feel that pain of them leaving, again.

People leave. I didn’t want reminders of them after they had broken my heart. I wanted them gone and erased from my memories.

While it’s easy to erase a picture of someone from your phone. Unfortunately, it’s a huge battle to erase them from your mind. All of those memories, laughs, tears, adventures…all of it seems as if it’s stuck in your brain.

I wish it were easier. But, that’s not how life works.

People leave. People that you just met, people you’ve know forever, family, husbands/wives, friends that you’ve known since childhood, boyfriends/girlfriends, best friends, children, people that you thought would be by your side for the rest of your life, etc. They leave.

The only thing you can do is let them go & wish them well.

So let them leave. Why would you want to keep someone around who doesn’t want to be there? Because you love them? Yeah, me too.

Stop holding onto letting go. It’s only hurting you. Keep your head held high. Feel what needs to be felt and move forward. Laugh without fear of the future. (This is all easier said than done, trust me, I know).

You’re going to be okay.

flawed & (still) worthy.

A lot of the time I would feel unworthy. Which I am sure that most people do or have…& I don’t know about you, but I don’t like feeling that way. I now realize what a WASTE OF TIME that it was.

I know that I am flawed. I am human. We all have flaws, we are literally only human. We all make mistakes and we all learn lessons. The cool thing about it all is that His grace is enough. Always.

REWIND:::I felt as though I was not “allowed” to feel happy in general. To have nice things, to live the life I do, to have the amazing family that I do, etc. When I couldn’t afford something I fell into this pit of sadness and anxiousness. It took me back to some moments when I was younger and it haunted me.  I started to pity myself. I felt sad. Useless. Worthless.

Honestly, sometimes I felt like I couldn’t even say “my car” because I felt as if I didn’t deserve it. It was difficult for me to say “My husband” because I felt as if I didn’t deserve him, to be married, to be happy and madly in love with my best friend. Sometimes, I would even feel like I couldn’t post a picture of our “date nights” because I didn’t deserve to have them and I didn’t want others to feel sad when seeing our happy picture if they felt alone. – Overthinking at its finest.-

“I do[n’t] deserve it.”

This was an inside issue that I had been struggling with for YEARS. But, you just have to remind yourself that you deserve the good things in life. You do. Jesus paid the price for it all a long time ago, so get over yourself and rest in the finished work. (Sorry, not sorry).

Someday, & someday soon I hope (if this pertains to you at all), you will be able to overcome this struggle and all of these lies that you have been believing for so long.

Kiss those lies, goodbye!

Friend, you are worthy. You are unique. You deserve happiness. You deserve to feel loved.