Emotions are gross. How do I uninstall them?
You can’t. Unfortunately. You have to feel them.
If you ignore them, that doesn’t mean that they just up and leave. They remain. They will resurface. They will haunt you.
You can’t go around it. You can’t go over it. You can’t go under it. You have to go through it.
Grab a notebook and a pen, grab your cell phone and open up your notes, grab your laptop and type it out. Go for a walk or a run, scream into a pillow, or eat a brownie.
Face it head on, push through, and then you’ll be stronger than before.
On the other side of that fear is a testimony.
While I am over here typing away and giving you advice, I am trying to take it myself. Boy, it is difficult.
Let’s get real for a moment since we are talking about feelings. While I was on antidepressants for quite some time, I was numb. Literally. I couldn’t become overly upset (easily), I couldn’t express my compassion (as much), I couldn’t cry (like ever). Everything was so suppressed for so long and it seemed, after awhile, to be the new me.
I decided one day (again) to say adios to my meds. I was literally unstable. I didn’t know how to control anything, I wasn’t used to it. Tears. Frustrations. Anger. Sadness. It was scary.
I felt so crazy. But I learned how to (mostly) live my every day life and become sane…as much as one could anyway.
But sometimes…those episodes still make an appearance and sometimes I sink back into that hole.
Emotions are a part of life. Feelings can be absolutely wonderful and sometimes absolutely dreadful. So, no, you can’t get rid of them & you can’t ignore them. But don’t worry, you’re not alone in this. You are not alone. *I try & remind myself*
Some days are hard…REALLY hard…when you’re battling severe depression and high anxiety. When you are trying to get better. When you’re surrounded by others who have NO IDEA what it is like. People who tell you that you don’t make any sense. People who tell you to get over it. People who think you are being over-dramatic. People who think you are not being reasonable. People who don’t “believe” it. People who try to compare theirs to yours. No.
They just do not understand.
There are different levels of depression. Different levels of anxiety. This is a mental illness. This is NOT a choice or a temporary mood that will fade away in an hour. For those who don’t understand…just be compassionate. Be patient. Be there. Just be there.
You can’t help in any other way, so just…be there.
Mental illness is not what this post was initially about, but that’s where it went. Mental illness is such a taboo in today’s society. It needs to be talked about and not shoved into a corner to be ignored and forgotten about. It is real & it is destroying your loved ones. Stop brushing it off as if it is nothing. Falling off your bike and getting a scraped knee is nothing. Falling into severe depression and wanting to die is NOT nothing.
Anyway, thanks for reading this rant. I know I will get better and be in remission longer than a couple months. I know my day and my week will get better. I know this because God is faithful. In my waiting, I am resting in trusting Him.
I hope your week is fantastic & filled with joy.